he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
