she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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