I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's shark week go big or go home
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
