dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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