i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
