is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she peed on how many people?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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