craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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