I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
