Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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