I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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