In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize