11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
