And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
