She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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