Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
