And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
