Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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