don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
