They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
