I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
