Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
