I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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