this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
