So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
