What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
