dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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