i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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