Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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