I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just made the most āsingle lifeā Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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