Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
