I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
