I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
