the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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