super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
