Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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