And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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