She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
