and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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