I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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