hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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