You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
