The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I deserve this hangover.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
