I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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