I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
