I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
