She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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