butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
