when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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