i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
