We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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