He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
